Welcome to Fatherhood

Fathers should be WELCOMED in the birthing scene. From prenatal visits to the actual delivery, fathers should be involved. The more they feel welcomed, the more involved they'll feel like being. Read this, then be sure to share it with your husband or partner and encourage them to ask questions and get involved in this amazing experience.

Some of these are relevant to practitioners, others to families, most to both!

Welcoming means …

• …asking a father his opinion and what he wants and needs.
• …understanding that a man having an emotional or feeling response to his partner’s pregnancy is a form of connection to the child, family and becoming a father. This may include fear, anger, judgment or other forms of upset. All clues!
• …enquiring about how he is doing (feeling).
• …supporting him to speak openly and regularly to you, his partner, other fathers or supporters.
• …encouraging fathers to read and go to classes. This is best if it includes some material specifically designed for fathers. Recommend some, see F2B list.
• …if you do not have access to the father, then enquire through the mother about him. Not casually but with intention.
• …asking what they, the couple, have decided about his involvement during the birth. If they have not discussed it encourage them to do so.
• …making sure dad understands what he might expect during labor as regards ‘labor pain’. Describe the unique nature of ‘labor pain’ as distinctly different to other forms of pain he may be more familiar with and also that pain is temporary, intermittent and not necessarily inevitable. Remind them to work with the word YES during birth.
• …understanding ‘why’ is usually important for a man. Describe the relationship between adrenalin and oxytocin (birthing hormones) and the important influence fathers do have on this.
• …understanding feminine timing in birth. Each woman’s labor is unique and happens in her own time. Fathers learning to relax around this issue is paramount.
• …making clear to dads that there may be a hierarchy of influence in a birthing room which may need to be negotiated and offer suggestions to support him.
• …being sure the couple has a birth plan and that dad, as the mother’s advocate, is familiar with it and knows to present it to hospital staff.
• …letting him know that birth is inherently safe and his partner is ‘designed’ to give birth, she will be able to do it and his trusting this is important.
• …making sure he is informed about the benefits of breastfeeding for his new baby as well as the mother. Flag the possibility that it could cause him to feel certain unexpected things. Discussing in advance allows him to feel safer.
• …pointing out the importance and value of skin to skin contact with a baby, especially for him. He will benefit from his own hormonal responses to this contact.
• …supporting the mother in understanding that her trusting dad and his contact with his new child is important. She is the gatekeeper.

Taken from Top Tips of Fathers To Be USA.