The part I did love was the following: We had a TV and a phone--so 1 hr. of TV/day, and 10 min phone call limit. That was the extent of our electronic stimulation guidelines.  Kids played outside on their own, and we called home, as were the other neighborhood children, by a gong or a bell.  This was usually only at mealtimes, which were a regular daily event attended by all members of the family.  Hauling kids around to practices and classes was kept to a minimum--mostly because I hated driving, but also because free time was deemed an important component of growing up.  I was lucky to be able to be a stay at home mom and fully share those growing years.

I realize that most of these freedoms are impossible today with both parents working and with the complexities of life on the street and in the schools.  Either way--raising kids is a treat!

Author: Janet Armstrong, Mother of Three, Grandmother of Three

Durango, CO (February 17, 2010)- Beginning March 2, 2010, A Bump in the Road and Liv MacKenzie, MA, LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor), will offer a five week Mental and Physical Wellness course for new moms. Over the course of the five week session, Liv MacKenzie, MA, LPC, will facilitate collective discussion exploring topics such as: common barriers to achieving your goals, creating goals/boundaries, developing a support team, emotional eating, mommy guilt, and nurturing oneself.

Many women find that when they become a mother for the first time there are unanticipated challenges that arise in addition to the miracle of the motherhood experience. The collective goal for course participants is to nurture positive emotional, physical, and spiritual wellness. The group format will allow for group support and unique understanding, as all participants are walking the path of motherhood.

Sessions include: two weekly meetings - one fifty-minute group discussion on Tuesdays at 10am at Liv MacKenzie’s office (766 Main Ave. St 201, Durango); the other will be group exercise, journaling, and meditation time/day tbd by group. Cost for 10 classes is $60 and prepayment is required. Class size is limited, for more information and to register, please call 970-779-8556.

Liv MacKenzie, MA, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor with over 10 years of clinical experience. Liv has a general private practice, in which she counsels adolescents, college students, families and women of all ages. She especially enjoys working with women who are experiencing major life transitions and specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of maternal anxiety and depression. www.livmackenzie.com

The soft-focus daydreams of pregnancy suddenly fast-forward into a blur of diaper changes, feedings and bonding to meet the needs of a newborn.

“We enter motherhood and we often have very unrealistic expectations of what it’s going to be like,” said Liv MacKenzie, a licensed professional counselor in Durango.

For some women, the postpartum period – up to a year after birth – is a time of bliss. But others are surprised to feel the sting of anxiety or depression. The tricky part of postpartum depression is first recognizing that you have it, then breaking through emotional barriers to seek help.

Bayfield mother Laura Lopez had a traumatic birthing experience, followed by several days of her daughter going through interventions in the hospital.

“Because of the constant vigilance over my daughter, I suffered severe sleep deprivation, and as a result, I spiraled into severe anxiety,” said Lopez.

“I tried to seek help, but it seemed no one recognized what I was experiencing was postpartum anxiety. Liv was the first one to put a name to it and validate it for me. That acknowledgment in itself was the beginning of my healing.”

Defining a disorder
About 80 percent of women get the “baby blues,” a normal bout of sadness, crying and increased sensitivity in the three to five days just after birth. On the other extreme, psychosis is rare and can happen one to two weeks after birth. Women have scary visions or hallucinations they think are real, or wish to harm themselves or their babies. This is a medical condition that demands immediate treatment by a doctor.

Postpartum depression, or PPD, is similar to other mood disorders and depression, but it’s induced by the major adjustments of life with a baby. Doctors haven’t pinpointed exactly what causes it, but the condition can be brought on by a combination of social, emotional and biochemical factors.

“It’s the sleep deprivation, the extra work,” said MacKenzie. “She could be having an identity crisis at the same time and be stuck on the couch nursing all day, or recovering from major surgery, and the partner goes back to work – it’s overwhelming.”

PPD can occur up to a year after birth – sometimes longer – and ranges from mild to severe. About one in five women suffer from it. There’s also a 30 percent chance for recurrence after a second baby.

“Some of the symptoms are very clear, and some are not,” said MacKenzie, who has practiced in Durango for more than 10 years and specializes in treating adolescents, young adults and mothers.

Symptoms include a range of physical and emotional problems triggered by anxiety, depression and obsessive-compulsive behavior. A woman may say “I’m not myself.” Some symptoms, such as fatigue, could be discounted as normal. The key is to recognize when the symptoms become chronic and affect daily life.

“The population I’m concerned about is women with mild PPD,” MacKenzie said.

Who is at risk
Certain women can be predisposed to the condition, although there is no way to know for sure who will get it, said MacKenzie. Typically, it’s someone with a Type A personality, a history of mood disorder and a lack of a support system. Women who experience depression during pregnancy are also at risk.

“This is the woman who is very adept at looking right and doing things right. On all outward appearances she’s fine, but internally she’s suffering. There’s a lot of comparison, looking at other mothers or families, and making the conclusion that ‘they’re doing it better than I am.’”

The Type A woman tends to put pressure on herself and set high expectations, said MacKenzie. She may have trouble admitting a loss of control, which creates a block to seeking help.

“Speaking out is part of helping take away that shame for myself, and hopefully to normalize the experience for other mothers,” said Lopez, whose baby is now 8 months old.

If a woman is on the fence about seeking treatment, MacKenzie offers important motivation: Postpartum depression can have a negative effect on bonding with the baby, partnerships and the woman’s sense of self. If left untreated, PPD symptoms may get worse, stay the same or eventually go away – but it may take years.

Road to recovery
The good news is that PPD is treatable with swift intervention, and may be prevented during pregnancy with preparation. MacKenzie said many women recover within a month to six months. Recovery depends on early diagnosis, in some cases medication, and a client’s active involvement in their recovery. Her therapy for PPD is short-term, adaptive, client-driven and focused on practical advice.

“What helped me the most was learning some self-care,” said Lopez, who was treated by MacKenzie. “I didn’t feel I had a right to my own time. There was so much to do with a baby, how could I possibly take a break for myself? She
encouraged me to get outside, to get exercise and to take time away by myself doing something I enjoyed.”

Lopez said that in never taking a break, she was exhausting herself and not allowing her husband to learn how to care for the baby. MacKenzie encourages clients to involve their partners in child-rearing so they don’t feel they have to do it all on their own.

MacKenzie has two young sons, ages 2 and 5. She said didn’t have “full-blown” PPD, but she can relate to the experience.

“When a woman gives me the privilege of walking this path with her, I feel a heartfelt connection and joy when she feels better,” she said. “So it’s partially the therapist in me that’s drawn to this work, and partially the mother and woman in me that acknowledges what a major life transition and passage this is.”

From the Durango Herald

by Karla Sluis

http://www.durangoherald.com/sections/Features/Family/2009/10/11/Dont_suffer_in_silence_Therapy_eases_postpartum_depression/

I wanted to use cloth diapers for my baby from the beginning for so many reasons: Disposables are expensive, for I’s first month, we spent nearly $70 on diapers; disposables leak, we went through 9-12 diapers a day, maybe I is a heavy wetter... maybe they just didn’t hold it all; disposables create excess waste, our landfills are so full already; disposables are paper products, environmentally, I wanted to be doodooful in reducing my diaper footprint!

My husband wasn’t so excited about the upfront cost of cloth diapers, but today, he’s a Cloth Diaper Fanatic too. They’re easy, their is less to clean up, and you are sparing the environment one diaper at a time.  When I was researching cloth diapers, I found a hundred different diapers- all claiming they were the best. So, I opted to purchase a few different kinds to decide for myself which ones worked “the best!”  We bought 2 BumGenius3.0 One-Size, 6 SwaddleBee Cloth Diapers, 1 Clover Fitted Diaper, 1 Happy Heiny Fitted Diaper, 2 Wonder Wraps, 2 Happy Heiny’s All-In-One, 2 Fuzzibunz One Size, and 2 Kushies Ultra Lights. Oh and I purchased a Swimmi too (for the pool). For 16 diapers, our investment totaled just about $320.00  I’m happy to report the following:

1. BumGenius 3.0 are The Best- Because they are so great, we save them for the night time. If I were to do it again- I’d purchase the Organic All-In-One Package- 18 diapers and everything you need for $437- at Kelly’s Closet.  This will easily last you through potty training! Beats roughly $1800 in the cost of disposables!
2. Chinese Prefold Cloth Diapers with the Wonder Wraps are my second favorite. Once you get the fold right (down in the front for boys, down in the back for girls) you are good to go!  I also use the Clover fitted diaper and the Happy Heiny’s fitted diaper with the Wonder Wraps.
3. Fuzzibunz- I like these, but we have had a few leaks- might be repelling d/t some recent diaper rash.
4. Happy Heiny’s- we go back and forth with these. The velcro on the front is a little cumbersome and if they aren’t sized right, they will leak. (Don’t go up to the next size too quick!)
5. Kushies Ultra Lights- if I could send these back.... I would! Therefor, I only use these when I know I can change him in an hour!
6. The Bummis Swimmi is great... we just took I in the hot tub. Besides him being so cute in this little tiny swimi, it did a great job of holding in the yuk!

With 16 diapers, we do one load of diapers every other day!  This usually allows us to get through two full days, two full nights, and one morning pretty easily. I’m sure you are saying- but that is a lot of water.... I agree. However, we have a High Efficiency washer that does a great job and infact, we only run them through on extra hot once! Drying the prefolds takes a little longer, but once the sun is out, we’ll use the line (more savings!). Plus, the sun is a natural whitener- it will help to get out those yucky stains.

A few of my friends are also using cloth diapers and loving them! Their favorites include: Motherease Diapers, Kushies Wraps, Bumkins, and Thirsties. Two I want to try are GroBaby and Econobum!  Do you cloth diaper?  What are the pros and cons of CD-ing in your house? If you haven’t tried it, many diapers offer Getting Started Packages too. Or even- a 21 day trial, no obligations only $10. Check em out...  You just might love them, and your baby’s bum definitely will!

Touch is an early form of communication in babies. Skin-to-skin contact is important, as your baby will become familiar not only with your touch but with your smell as well. Hold your newborn up against your  skin, and cradle them in your lap as you stroke them with different patterns. In this manner, your baby will learn to distinguish between the patterns of touch used by you and your spouse.

-Your baby communicates through eye-to-eye contact, so make sure to provide your newborn with this type of attention to signal your affection

-New babies can follow objects with their eyes, so playing with moving objects is one way to spend quality time together.

-Babies love to hear human voices, and try to imitate them in their early efforts to communicate. Reading, talking, and singing to your baby will help familiarize them with your voice and form an attachment. Cooing and communicating with facial expressions will also be recognized by your baby, who will most likely make attempts to imitate these signs.

-Newborns will recognize your heartbeat, so hold your infant close to your chest. And respond to your baby’s crying, which will help your baby feel secure and help to form a trusting relationship.

-Lastly, make sure you participate in all aspects of caregiving. Moms and dads should both be taking care to   change diapers, rocking the baby to  sleep, as well as burping and  bathing your newborn. If the baby is not being breastfed, dad should also participate in bottle feedings.

Most importantly, actively share your experiences with your baby and acknowledge their presence as you go about your day. Use a baby carrier that allows you to carry your newborn against your chest. This will allow you to communicate with your newborn while gaining the benefits of physical closeness as you go about your daily activities. Remember, an emotional bond requires that both baby and parent integrate one another into their lives.

Newborn Bonding and Cause for Concern

If you are still experiencing feelings of detachment, resentment, or jealousy several weeks after the birth of your baby, you should speak to a health care provider to get proper help and support. Talk to a pediatrician or health professional when taking your baby to his or her first visit to the doctor, and get support by talking to friends, family, and new parents.

It is not uncommon for new moms to experience  postpartum depression, and new dads may experience depression symptoms as well. It is important to the health of both you and your baby that early bonding concerns be resolved, so that you can begin to build lasting family ties.

“Co-sleeping doesn’t have to affect tenderness and closeness between spouses,” Dr. James McKenna of the Notre Dame University Mother/Baby Sleep Laboratory writes in his book “Sleeping with Baby.” “With the baby, you can still talk, touch, laugh, massage and otherwise enjoy the connection with your partner."

So how can couples recapture a sense of intimacy after the baby arrives?

First, don’t put too much emphasis on the sexual aspects of intimacy, experts advise. Not only does a mother’s body need time to recover after labor, new parents need breathing room to learn about themselves and each other in their newly redefined roles. Instead, look for other ways to foster intimacy. Here are a few ideas:

* Take advantage of technology. It may be difficult to whisper sweet nothings to each other while baby’s asleep nearby, but you can quietly, discreetly and privately connect by sending personal e-mails or text messages to each other throughout the day. Don’t, however, send sexy or inappropriate messages through office e-mails or business cell phones.

* Many couples keep romance alive with regular weekly “date nights,” but once baby arrives, it can be difficult to find the time – and a sitter – to go out on a date. Instead, move the “date” home by sharing special time together while the baby sleeps. Once your little one goes down for the night, cook a meal together, pop in a DVD, open a bottle of wine, or simply sit in front of the fire holding hands and discussing your day.

* Keep the baby close, but not in your marriage bed. Nearly 50 percent of babies in a study by the National Institute for Child Health & Development had spent some time sleeping in an adult bed at night. Multiple surveys have shown that American parents sleep with their children for all or part of the night. Advantages to co-sleeping, bed sharing, sleep sharing or the family bed are warmth, cuddling, convenience, ease of breast-feeding and an opportunity to bond.

A safe, secure way to keep your baby close throughout the night is to put her to sleep in a bedside sleeper, like those made by Arm’s Reach Concepts. A bedside sleeper provides a separate space for a baby to sleep beside the parents, yet also allows moms to have easy access to the child for breast-feeding without getting out of bed. Parents get to spend the night in their own bed, beside their partners, while the baby is close by.